Tuesday - Day +4

Yesterday was Day +4 from transplant. My white cell count last night fell to 0.4 and continues to drop. My hemocrait was fine so no blood transfusions. I keep waiting for the signs to come like the mouth sores or fever. My stomach and digestive system at this point seems to be the only thing that is causing me discomfort and pain. I have nausea all day long and ask for the medicine to stop it. It feels so much like morning sickness all day long. My doctors are so pleased with my progress so far. They say I am so healthy and everything looks good. I can't wait to start the neupogen shots tomorrow so my white blood cell count will start to go up and I can start my recovery.

I miss home so very much and all my family and friends. I'm lonely but every other day I have someone here to visit which helps. Mom and Mark will come tomorrow. Mark is taking Maxwell to the airport to fly to Omaha Nebraska for a hockey team tryout for the USHL. I hope he does well! They will then come and visit me for the afternoon. On Friday, Matthew flys in from Los Angeles and Mark will pick him up at the airport and come visit me. I think they will stay at Cousin Maria's (I have to call her) and then come visit me again on Saturday. I miss Mattie so much and look forward to seeing him on Friday.

All I keep thinking about is how this has changed my life. I want so much to enjoy my new normal life away from doctors and hospitals. I don't want to think about being sick. My beautiful shared heart is perfect and the doctors say it has done quite well through chemo. I knew it would because my angel Jazmin is with me helping me get through this. Every time someone asks me about Jazmin and show them her picture on my desktop. They always say "what an angel"!

Today I'm confined to my room because of my white blood cell count and they want to protect me from infection. So I will watch movies, watch tv (nothing on tv here) and play games on my lap top.

I have alot of time thinking about the things I want to do when I get home. After being released from the hospital Mom and I will have to stay in an apartment for one to two weeks close to Stanford. I have to go to Stanford Cancer Center ITA each morning for blood draws to determine if I need fluids or blood. Once I am released from the ITA then I can actually go home but will be released to the BMT clinic. My appointments with the BMT clinic will be once a week to see the BMT doctors until released back to Dr. Schrier. I still have months of doctor's appointments but most importantly I need to rest, relax and recover from this procedure.

I plan to spend most of my time at my lake trailer in Lake County. Mark has been cleaning and getting it ready for me. I feel so at peace when I'm there that that's where I want to be. I want to take drives, take a nap on the lake, visit with friends and just enjoy the moment!

What I'm going through right now is just a "moment". I can't say it takes my breath away but certainly has made me realize how important "moments in time" are to me. Eight months ago I didn't have many moments left and God gave me a second chance to experience more moments in time. I plan to take advantage of every one!

Make a moment today that takes your breath away!

Love,
Debbie