Support

I never understood what the word "support" would really mean until I walk into the heart transplant support group meeting on 8-12-08. Yesterday it finally hit me.

I went to Vallejo and pick up Tippi and away the "million dollar girls" went to support group. We arrived earlier to see many friends, Norm and Mary, Ken, Steve and his wife, John, Leroy and his wife and Leo. There were many in patients waiting for a heart or just admitted to receive medical treatment for congested heart failure. I have to say there were more than I have seen since my first meeting in August, 2008. It's really sad to see those patients waiting for a heart and not knowing what the future holds. I don't like to use the word lucky because I don't find it was luck that brought my shared heart to me so quickly. I feel "blessed". I feel blessed that Evelyn, Jazmin's Mom made the decision to donate her beautiful daughter's heart to me. I feel blessed that my shared heart, Jazmin's heart, is so perfect and we are a perfect match. Evelyn has told me over and over again, how strong she was and it is true. I have had so many NER (no evidence of rejection) biopsies. I'm blessed to have Evelyn and her beautiful girls in my life. I'm truly blessed! Support group has helped me through the transplant candidacy process and just knowing each and everyone is there to help you get through the tuff times and the happy times.

Happy times are moments when you first see a person who has been waiting for a heart and she walks in. That was Mary. Mary waited in the hospital at Kaiser and Stanford for over nine weeks. Mark and I visited her at Stanford last month after biopsy. I have to say she looked awful and I told Mark I was so afraid a heart would not come in time to help her. But then, on February 27th a heart came and Mary was transplanted. She looked beautiful yesterday after just one week. So full of life and grateful for the gift she has received. She made us all cry with happy tears!

Next month I plan to take a picture of my heart transplant friends for posting on my blog. I had a wonderful day with Tippi. We went to support and then to lunch. We had so much fun yesterday! Tippi was able to get out and enjoy the weather and I was able to enjoy her friendship. We talk all night long on the computer instant messaging each other. Monday night we had so much fun messaging each other about "Dancing with the Stars". Dante, the naked guy from Sex and the City movie is competing and Melissa the bachelorette who just got dump was on too. It was fun to watch! I gave Tippi the same 15 minute Pilate book that Carrie, my Pilate's instructor gave me. Tippi started today and loved it. She can do the exercises with ease and I think it will really help with her limitations from the disease, FA. I'm committed to helping her get strong and be the person she wants to me. She is a beautiful loving individual. I'm blessed to have met her!

Today I got to go to San Francisco for the Media Credit Meeting I would have each month before I got sick. It's been since September last year that I have gone. It was so great to see my clients and talk business with them. It really made me feel "normal". You must think what is she talking about, but when you get sick so quickly and your life changes so quickly, you value "normalcy". It's those every day things that we take for granted that I want back. I want my job back, I want to walk into a restaurant sit down and order and not worry about infection and large groups of people, I want to go to my trailer now and spend the night and wake up to the beautiful scenery all around, I want to travel and go back to Italy, I want to go to sleep at night and not think about my shared heart or the disease I have, I want to be "NORMAL"!!! Today I felt normal!!!

I've been reading the book "Cancer on $5 a Day" by Robert Schimmel. Robert is a comedian who had non hodgkin's lymphoma stage 3. His book is so inspiring and very direct. He uses comedy to tell his story. I find myself laughing out loud at some of the things he says. But then there is the serious inspiring side to his writing. He talks about all the BMWs, Rolex watches and the finer Tiffany trinkets can not help you when you are faced with Cancer and death. He stresses living the moment and enjoying each one because you never know when the next one will come. It's what I'm living!

Tomorrow is lab work before chemo treatment on Friday. Friday will be my last day for this second course of Velcade. I will have a two week break before starting course 3. Please view Dr. Kevin Anderson's blog (quick link on my blog see below on right side). He is currently having the stem cell transplant and is posting his thoughts each day. Please say a prayer for him.

Enjoy the moment!

Love,
Debbie