Friday, October 19, 2012

LIFE!!

LIFE!  Believe in magic.  Tell stories. Love with all your heart.  Never give up.  Do what you love.  Follow your dreams.  Be happy.  Live today.  And above all... make every moment count.

These are words I try to live by each and every day.  Sometimes it is very very hard.  I keep fighting because I have so much to live for.  My wonderful husband, Mark, my three sons, grand kids, family and friends.  I have so much more to see and do in this life and I'm not ready to go!



I want to laugh again till my belly hurts!!!!

Everyday it is a struggle to maintain my health, emotions and mental state.  This week was especially hard because I was on both chemo drugs at the same time.  Usually for the past 3 months I would take Cytoxan after getting Velcade.  This month they landed on the same day.  So I was so sick this week.  To make things worst I fell again!  Now my left foot (which I fractured months ago) and ankle are swollen and sore.  Not to say again about the huge cut on my right leg which will turn black and blue soon.  This sucks!  I know I am at risk of broken bones because of the steroid but here we go again. 

I received my light chain count results yesterday.  Last month down to 61 and this month up to 70.  I know its only 9 points up but I was hoping for a big drop before seeing Dr. Schrier next week.  I really want a break and I need it!  I'm not asking to stop chemo (either one) I just want to stop Dex for one week a month.  As I have said before so many times, that steroid is awful and has so many side effects.  I just need a break.  So Tuesday hopefully he will give me a break from Dex.  I lowered my dose from 40mg to 20mg and that has done nothing, so I think one week a month will help.  I want to be a person again.  Being sick from Tuesday till Saturday is not the way to live life.  It is holding me back from doing the things I want to do.  LIVE LIFE!

Keep sending those prayers for Auntie Mary Joan, me and all the others in the world fighting for LIFE!

Love,
Debbie



1 comment:

Laura Laughlin said...

Bless you, Debbie, as you continue your fight. Let's hope you do get a break from the meds! I feel for you and will pray for you as I always do.