KARMA

KARMA

NO NEED FOR REVENGE.

JUST SIT BACK & WAIT.

THOSE WHO HURT YOU

WILL EVENTUALLY SCREW UP

THEMSELVES & IF YOU'RE

LUCKY, GOD WILL LET YOU

WATCH!!!

WORDS TO LIVE BY

"IT IS NOT LENGTH OF LIFE, BUT DEPTH OF LIFE",
RALPH WALDO EMERSONS

LOVE,
DEBBIE

2012 IS GOING TO BE MY YEAR!!!!

I thought 2012 would be my year and to be honest it will be. I felt at the beginning of the year trapped, depressed and just tried of dealing with my health, finances and career.

Three years ago I never would have guessed my life would change but it did. I was Vice President of GWCB and loving my job, in perfect shape and loving what I thought was a great life. Then it all changed. I wasn't able to do my job, my body feels like it is 90, and the only thing that didn't change was how much I love my life.

I realize things have changed and will never be the same but these changes have been good ones. I have more time now to enjoy every moment of my life. I have a wonderful husband who loves me and takes very good care of me, 3 caring boys, 2 grand children, family and friends. I am truly blessed. So when I get in those depressed moods, I stop and think about how lucky I am. It's hard at times but I'm still fighting.

Last Thursday, Maxwell celebrated his 21st birthday. Mark and I rented a beautiful home in South Lake Tahoe and took the whole family there (Matt had other plans). Maxwell brought 3 friends and his 21st birthday was a blast. You know the saying "What happens in Las Vegas (South Lake Tahoe) stays there. Well lots went on and today on our way home from Tahoe dropped him off at the Oakland airport to fly to Las Vegas to celebrate with his friends down there. Matthew is staying and they are going out tonight.

As for our trip it was so much fun. The home was beautiful and it snowed over 6 feet. See the pictures. Little Markie was so excited and kept saying "snow snow". Mark and Erin were so happy to have these moments with their family. I will hold these moments forever!

So I had a two week break from chemo. The first week I didn't feel much but the second week (this week) wasn't good. I got sick while in Tahoe and the pain I experienced months ago after my last heart biopsy is back. I think its because I have not been on Dex (steroid) for two weeks. I took it tonight and will have chemo tomorrow. I'm not quite sure if I will take chemo for 2 months and then take another break or do 3 weeks on and one week off. I did take my blood labs tonight for my light chains. I took them 2 weeks ago and it was 97. I want to wait and see what the results are before I make my decision. I am scheduled for a heart biopsy next week. To be honest I'm so scared because of what happened last time. Dr. Dana will be doing the biopsy and she did say she would give me something for my nerves before. I will also talk to her about what to do about chemo treatments. I value her opintion but realize she is not an expert on Amyloidosis.

My goal for the future is to enjoy every moment and as my yoga teacher taught us "Cancel out those thoughts and individuals who cause you stress". That's exactly what I'm going to do.

Enjoy every moment!

Love,

Debbie

WHERE DOES THE TIME GO!!!

Evelyn and I at the Rose Parade
Placing a rose dedication to Jazmin on the Donate for Life Rose Parade Float

"The Rose and my special message to Jazmin"

"ADORABLE"

"MY SPECIAL ANGELS"

IS THIS A CUTE FAMILY OR WHAT?

HAILEY IN HER FIRST TATTOO

WHAT A SWEET LITTLE FACE!!!

The beginning of the year has flown by. It's the end of February and I can't even remember what I did in January.

I've had a busy start of the new year. Hailey is growing so fast and Little Markie is talking and finally says "Nana". What a great feeling that is when you walk through the door and he says "hi Nana". That is a dream come true! I am still watching him on Mondays. This is my special time to spend with him and I wouldn't miss it for the world. We play in the sand box, take rides in the red wagon, go to the park, color, blow bubbles and just spend each moment together. He is a sweet little guy with a big heart.

My little girl is adorable! She is starting to coo and smile at us. I haven't spent too much time with her because big brother wants all my attention. So I try to show him attention while sneaking in some time with Hailey. I look forward to the next few months when she starts becoming more of a baby instead of an infant. I always loved the six month stage.

We are taking a trip to Lake Tahoe in a few weeks with the whole family to celebrate Maxwell's 21st birthday. It should be a blast! Mom and I will watch the grandkids while everyone else goes out at night. Nana and I are happy to have those moments with the kids and some quiet time at night once they are asleep to watch movies and the snow fall (hopefully we will have snow). The house we are renting is so beautiful with over 4,000 square feet with 2 master bedrooms, hot tub, game room and the most beautiful kitchen I have ever seen. Nana and I are going to cook our hearts out. Special moments with family is what I look forward to.

As for my health, I have decided to change course on my treatment. I have felt awful since last September when the heart doctor caused an accident while doing my heart bio. Then to top it off, Stanford changed my treatment to chemo every week. Then a month ago back in the hospital with problems in the intestines. I have had enough of this. I asked Dr. Akthar if I could take off the month of March with no chemo and no steroid. He is so sweet and considerate and said it is my choice and that no one forces me to do chemo. I have choices and if that is what I feel will help to heal my body and mind then do it. I will start a yoga class next week to help with the physical and especially the mental state of my body. I have been so depressed for months not feeling good, not exercising and not being able to enjoy quality of life. The doctors gave me a new heart to live, not to be depressed, sick and in pain every day. So I will take my blood work for the light chain count on Monday and depending on the results will make my final decision to stop chemo for the month of March. We will wait and see! I pray that I can have this special time to myself!!!!

I have been spending time at the trailer at least 2 or 3 times a month. I love it there because I don't think about my illness and the last 3 years. I only think about the moments in my life that bring me pleasure which are my husband, kids, grandkids, family and true friends.

There is a saying that "friends come into your life for a reason at this time and then go away". I have had many special friends like that and I thank them for the gifts they have shared with me during the times I needed them. My heart is always open!!!

In December, Evelyn (Jazmin's mom) and I went to the Pasadena Rosa Parade to place a rose dedication in Jazmin's honor on the "Donate for Life" Rose Parade Float. See the pictures in this post. It was a wonderful time and moments I will never forget. Evelyn and I stayed at the Beverly Hills Montage. We felt like queens!!! She had never been to Beverly Hills, so it was fun showing her around. We shopped on Rodeo Drive, well I mean we "window shopped". We did have a wonderful dinner at Wolfgang Puck's restaurant Spagos. Evelyn enjoyed her new favorite drink the "aviator". Yes it made her feel like she was flying!!! Those moments are truly a gift!

I'm also excited and appreciate my brother Joey and sister Rachel for planning a family get together with all kids, grandkids, great grandkids each month. Sunday we had dinner here at my house. It was so much fun! We ate pasta, meatballs, garlic bread and of course fruit salad. Joey will hosted the get together next month and had a great idea. Everyone will decide on a food they would like us to make for the next month's get together and we will pull one suggestion out of a hat and make that dish. It will be a way that everyone gets to choose what they want. I think the popular dish will be pasta or gnocchi. Either way I'm just happy to spend time with my family.

They are the "AMOR DE MI VITA" (love of my life).

Enjoy the pictures and I can't say when I'll write again but I'll try to do it soon!

Love,

Debbie

Moments from Heaven!!!!

PROUD DADDY HOLDING HAILEY LEE DOUGLAS

BORN DECEMBER 8, 2011

6 POUNDS 14 OUNCES

20 INCHES LONG

ERIN AND HER BEAUTIFUL BABY DAUGHTER


NANA AKA NONNIE

HAILEY

AND OF COURSE A VERY PROUD NANA

SORRY CAN'T FIGURE HOW TO TURN PICTURE

I AM SO BLESSED TO HAVE TWO BEAUTIFUL GRAND CHILDREN. THANK YOU GOD FOR THE BEAUTIF UL GIFTS AND MOMENTS!!!

LOVE,

DEBBIE

THIS IS WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT!

Lots going on right now. I'm on grand baby watch. Hailey is due on the 15th and Erin is already showing signs of delivering early. I can't wait. A little boy and now how blessed am I to have a little girl too!

This past weekend I spent time making my gingerbread houses for Little Markie, Hailey, Ashanti, Angelina and me. Last night Little Markie stayed and decorated his little house. It is so cute. I worked on Hailey's house today and mine. I made Hailey's house in pink, cause pink is for girls. Spending this time with Little Markie decorating his house was a moment that took my breath away. I was so excited when he would say "right here" was where he wanted to put something. So cute! He was very patient and sat there with me and Mommy decorating his little house. What a moment!!!

This Sunday, Evelyn, Ben and the girls are coming to decorate their gingerbread houses. I went to the Disney store and bought the girls the "princess figures". They are going to be so excited. Another moment that will take my breath away!

As for my health, this past month the Lambda light chains went down to 102. Four months ago I was at 179 and Stanford was getting nervous and put me on chemo every week. I have no breaks which means I'm sick (nausea) Tuesday and Wednesday and then on Thursday the soreness and fatigue starts. By Friday I'm so sore and fatigue. The doctors are saying its because the chemo treatments are building up and the effects are getting stronger. I don't see Dr. Schrier (Stanford) until January and hopefully he will give me at least a one week break. That would be so great!

On December 29th, in Pasadena California, Evelyn and I will put a rose in honor of Jazmin on the Rose Parade Donate for Life Float. It will be a special moment for Evelyn and I and will be a moment that takes my breath away! Evelyn and I will be staying at my favorite hotel the Montage in Beverly Hills. I'm excited to show her the places I have been to and of course we will do alot of girl things like shopping, people watching, more shopping and lots more people watching. I told her we can just sit in the library (aka living room) and watch the people go by. She is really looking forward to this trip and so am I. I will be able to see Kathy and Denise at Youngs Market too! Its been almost 2 years since I last saw them. I miss them so much!

On October 8th I became a Donate for Life Ambassador for the California Transplant Donor Network. I plan to make presentations at the High Schools encouraging young adults to donate. One question? Do you have a pink dot? The pink dot is on your driver's license. Please, please donate! There are 9 million donors in the state of California. As impressive as having nearly 9 million people registered sounds, about 70% of adults still have not yet made a decision themselves as donors in this state. I believe there are about 12,000 people still waiting for an organ. Why! 9 million is not enough. Bear in mind, to be a donor you have to be considered "brain dead" and "in a hospital enviroment" and that is where the problem lies. How many donors who die are "brain dead". Not many, so the more donors there are the chances are higher for someone waiting for an organ. I was blessed and thank God for Jazmin's mom, Evelyn in making the decision to donate. Jazmin save a lot of lives including mine. Jazmin was not a donor but Evelyn made the decision for her daughter. What a miracle and what a special person she is. I will do everything possible to honor Jazmin. She was too young to die but she saved so many lives. She is an angel in heaven!

Well the next news with pictures coming soon will be my new baby grand daughter "Hailey"!

Remember: Every moment is a gift!

Love,

Debbie

PS: To an old friend who commented on my blog. Thank you for your prayers and thinking of me. Enjoy every moment! Make moments that take your breath away! I try each day to do just that!

Sorry for Being Gone For So Long!!!!

Strip District In Pittsburgh

Famous Prumanti Bros. Sandwich Restaurant

You're in Steeler Country


Steeler Country

Great Seats - 5 rows up from the field

The Ketshup Bottles Open and Pour Out when the Steetlers Score

The fans go all out for their Steelers

T
The Steeler Hall of Fame Wall

Erin's Baby Shower 10-23-11
It's all about PINK!!!!

Baby Cash and Auntie Mary

Hailey's First Toto

Erin and Tory

Thank you so much Tory for the beautiful baby shower

My Pride and Joy

Little Markie



It's November 1st and I can't believe its been 5 months since my last post. So much to say and so much to show.

Well all the good news first! I am going to be a grandma again. A beautiful grand daughter, named Hailey Lee Douglas is expected into the world sometime between December 5th and December 15th. Everyone knows how much this means to me. To be a grandma again is the best moment of my life. Little Markie is now 19 months and is such a joy. I watch him every Monday and the moments I spend with him are so precious. I can only imagine how it will be with two. I dream about her almost every night. I hope she looks like Erin, although in my dreams she does. Erin's girl friends gave her a baby shower and I got to go out shopping for the first time for girl clothes. Yes I went crazy. I told Erin when she brings Hailey over to stay at Nana's house be sure to bring at least 5 changes of clothes so I can play dress up. Little Markie is now saying words like "please" "baby" "bubbles" and many more. I think he says "Nana" but it comes out kind of funny. I know he loves me by the way he looks at me. His little eyes stare at me and when he sees me he runs to me and gives me hugs and kisses. I'm the happiest Nana on this earth!!!!

I haven't done much traveling since the big motorhome trip. Just short trips to the lake and in October Mark and I went to Pittsburgh to see the Steelers and Penguins play. I had sooooo much fun! The people are sooooo nice. Mark was so excited to show me all the places he visited in his last trips. It was just what we needed. I hope to go every year!

I'm excited the fall and winter months are coming because this is my favorite time of the year to be at the lake. There is no one there and I can walk all around with my puppy. I drop Mark off at his favorite place ie: casino and I have the day to myself. It works for both of us. I spend my time watching Burlesque, Under the Tuscan Sun, Sex in the City and more for at least the 20th time. I swear I see different parts each time I see them over. I read my "food network" magazines, which I really enjoy. I have even been doing so many different recipes. Max and Mark are really loving it. I made a Cocoa Pork on Sunday with Cole slaw and BBQ sauce. Mark loved it. It gives me peace to cook for my family. I enjoy it so much!

As for my health. I'm stable at this point. I was really having a hard time with my lambha light chain number. It was going up (172) and Dr. Schrier was getting concerned. He decided I would have to go on chemo every week, take the steroid every week and have it injected into my stomach called sub-que instead of infusion into my arm. He said they were having much success with sub-que. So two months ago I started the new treatment plan. My numbers have dropped from 172 to 128. I have had some side effects that are good like my numbness isn't as bad and the nausea isn't as bad too. I still have the side effects at the end of the week like I have the flu but by Saturday its all gone.

I had my 3 year annual heart biopsy in September. I had a NER (no evidence of rejection) and no amyloid in my new shared heart. They also check my arties for any blockage and there was none. So my biopsy was very positive except I ended up in the ICU for three days. The doctor had a problem during the biopsy where the sack around my heart was punctured and I started bleeding inside. They rushed me to ICU and thank god they knew what to do it didn't cause any damage to my new shared heart. I have had terrible pain since then on my left side near my heart. They have done CT scans, Echo Scans and blood tests. All have come back negative and the heart is functioning great. The pain they think is from the doctor inserting the cath for the drainage of blood after the biopsy. Maybe he did something to a muscle but I can tell you this that at the beginning of the week on Tuesday the pain was gone and by Thursday it was back. The pain was so bad I couldn't breathe and was so worry about the heart. We discovered that when I went on Dexadron that the steroid helped with inflammation and by the time Thursday came the drug was gone and the pain was back. So now I'm on 40 mg of Dexadron on Tuesday and starting Thursday on 30 mg of Predisone with taper. The pain is gone but for how long I don't know. I was so depressed after the biopsy because I was feeling great a month ago. I have to be strong and continue with my treatments. I am having surgery next Thursday on my finger which I have a piece of glass in it, what fun! I have been seeing annual doctors for exams like eyes, skin and on November 15th I will have a bone density test. I keep falling and they want to be sure my bones are not weakening. Every waking moment is devoted to taking care of this body. My sweetheart husband has been such a positive force in my life. All he asks is "are you happy". He goes out of his way to do little things to be sure I'm happy. It's working!!!!

This month is my favorite holiday, Thanksgiving. We will share Thanksgiving with the family at brother and sister, Joey and Rachel's house. It is so much fun and this year we have new additions to the family. Joey's daughter, Shannon gave birth in April to Cashious (Cash). He is so cute and is just now sitting up and cooing at us. Little Markie will be into everything (food I mean) and just 8 months to go for Anthony and Laura's wedding. I'm so blessed to have such a loving and caring family. I'm going to enjoy every moment.

Please enjoy the pictures and I can't promise to update more cause I'm out there "ENJOYING EVERY MOMENT!!!

Love,

Debbie