I thought 2012 would be my year and to be honest it will be. I felt at the beginning of the year trapped, depressed and just tried of dealing with my health, finances and career.
Three years ago I never would have guessed my life would change but it did. I was Vice President of GWCB and loving my job, in perfect shape and loving what I thought was a great life. Then it all changed. I wasn't able to do my job, my body feels like it is 90, and the only thing that didn't change was how much I love my life.
I realize things have changed and will never be the same but these changes have been good ones. I have more time now to enjoy every moment of my life. I have a wonderful husband who loves me and takes very good care of me, 3 caring boys, 2 grand children, family and friends. I am truly blessed. So when I get in those depressed moods, I stop and think about how lucky I am. It's hard at times but I'm still fighting.
Last Thursday, Maxwell celebrated his 21st birthday. Mark and I rented a beautiful home in South Lake Tahoe and took the whole family there (Matt had other plans). Maxwell brought 3 friends and his 21st birthday was a blast. You know the saying "What happens in Las Vegas (South Lake Tahoe) stays there. Well lots went on and today on our way home from Tahoe dropped him off at the Oakland airport to fly to Las Vegas to celebrate with his friends down there. Matthew is staying and they are going out tonight.
As for our trip it was so much fun. The home was beautiful and it snowed over 6 feet. See the pictures. Little Markie was so excited and kept saying "snow snow". Mark and Erin were so happy to have these moments with their family. I will hold these moments forever!
So I had a two week break from chemo. The first week I didn't feel much but the second week (this week) wasn't good. I got sick while in Tahoe and the pain I experienced months ago after my last heart biopsy is back. I think its because I have not been on Dex (steroid) for two weeks. I took it tonight and will have chemo tomorrow. I'm not quite sure if I will take chemo for 2 months and then take another break or do 3 weeks on and one week off. I did take my blood labs tonight for my light chains. I took them 2 weeks ago and it was 97. I want to wait and see what the results are before I make my decision. I am scheduled for a heart biopsy next week. To be honest I'm so scared because of what happened last time. Dr. Dana will be doing the biopsy and she did say she would give me something for my nerves before. I will also talk to her about what to do about chemo treatments. I value her opintion but realize she is not an expert on Amyloidosis.
My goal for the future is to enjoy every moment and as my yoga teacher taught us "Cancel out those thoughts and individuals who cause you stress". That's exactly what I'm going to do.
Enjoy every moment!
Enjoy every moment!
Love,
Debbie
1 comment:
Hello my heart sister! It's Carolyn from Transplant Support Group. Do you remember me? How are you dear girl? I haven't seen you in quite awhile. It sounds like you are not having an easy time of this and I am oh so sorry. :( I remember thinking of you as my mentor before transplant. You had said you worked out and your legs were strong, and after the transplant you recovered quickly. I really wanted to be just like you; and praise God I did recover quickly! I'm so sorry you've been feeling down. We could talk, you know. I wish we could meet up! I live in your town remember! Send me an email: csimons52@yahoo.com
That's a WHOLE lot of snow in those pictures! Babies are cute! Being a grandparent is an awesome job, isn't it? Love my babies too!
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