Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Recovering and Feel Good

Today is Tuesday and I had a very busy weekend. I am feeling good.

On Friday, June 26th, I had an appointment at Stanford to see Dr. Aeria for my checkup after stem cell transplant. All lab work was perfect and she is very pleased with my recovery. The fatigue she said is normal and will take some time to recover. I have to be patient. My appetite is still not normal but I am trying to eat as much as possible to feed my body. I will continue to rest and relax at home and at my trailer in Lake County.

My brother and Rachel's wedding was absolutely beautiful. It was very hot that day but the celebration was wonderful. Rachel looked like a princess and brother was so happy. They are now in Maui on their honeymoon. I hope to have pictures soon to share with everyone.

I visited Auntie Mary Joan on Friday and she was in good spirits. I don't understand her reasoning why she made the decision not to seek medical attention when she discovered the lump in her breast. I do respect and accept her decision now to not prolong her life but all of us are selfish because we want her here enjoying every moment life has to bring. She kept saying how brave I was to go through all I have been through. Yes maybe it is bravery but I want to live. I want to make memories and moments that take my breath away and I plan to live each moment doing just that. She and Don have decided to marry and live what time they have together making those beautiful memories. I am so happy for both of them. She is a beautiful person and deserves the best. Please continue to pray for her that she won't suffer and God will take her when he feels she has had enough. I love her so very much and will miss all those comments she will post on this blog. I will cherish them forever. Love you Auntie.

Maxwell was in Minneapolis over the weekend trying out for a team from Texas. He made the all star team and scored the winning goal in overtime. We are so proud of him. He was asked to come back to the main camp in August and hopefully he has a good chance to make the team. I will let everyone know.

Today Max and I will go to Costco to get my meat and some little things. I haven't been to Costco in months and I love their meat. I want to stock up the house and the trailer too.

My next appointment with the BMT doctors will be on July 6th. I have a heart biopsy scheduled for July 14th and an appointment with Dr. Schrier about my disease that day too. I'm a little nervous about meeting with Dr. Schrier to see how successful the stem cell transplant was. I'm hoping it was.

Have a wonderful day and remember make every moment count.

Love,
Debbie

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Life Can Be So Cruel

I sat here for 5 minutes trying to come up with the perfect title for this posting and to be honest that was all I could think of.

Why do good people get sick? There are so many mean and bad people out there doing the unspeakable, but the good ones get sick.

My loving Auntie Mary Joan is one of those good people. She really is my first cousin but I have always since I was able to talk called her Auntie Mary Joan. She is like my Mom's younger sister. Auntie Mary Joan has breast cancer and for whatever reason she hide this from all of us. She didn't want anyone to worry or have to care for her. The news is still fresh and we don't know the details but she needs our prayers. Please say a prayer for my sweet dear aunt. She is so kind and generous. She has such a big heart and is always caring for others. She just didn't care for herself. I love her so very much!

I can't think of anything else to say tonight. My new shared heart is aching. I'm so sad.

Love,
Debbie

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Recovery

I have been resting and relaxing the last few days. To be honest, I haven't felt that great. I am still having problems with my upper GI system with moments of purping. It builds up and then the purping starts which relieves the pain. I can't eat and have to force myself to eat, especially at night. I have lost weight which is no big deal because I gained over 30 after heart transplant. I am hungry and then sit now to eat, take a few bites and feel full. Last night Maxwell made a wonderful roasted chicken with stuffing. The smell made me so sick and I couldn't eat. I waited until almost 9:00PM to eat some cream of wheat to get my pills down. I am also so fatigue which is so different than the heart transplant. After heart transplant, I felt great. After a few months I was exercising with no problems. Now I can barely get to the bathroom without feeling out of breath and so tired. I did talk to Dr. Kevin and he is feeling the same way, so I know it is not my heart.

I hate feeling so bad everyday. I mean not being able to do the things I did after heart transplant. The doctors have said that after stem cell transplant it could be 6-9 months before you feel normal again. I guess I have to be patient. It's so hard when you have been the kind of person who goes and goes and suddenly you can't even walk across the room. I will take it day at a time. I see Dr. Aeria on Friday at Stanford and hopefully she can explain what is going on.

Saturday is brother Joey's wedding. Rachael and him are so excited. It is going to be a beautiful wedding. I'm so happy for them to start their new life together. I told Rachael all that matters is the moment she sees my brother at the end of the aisle waiting for her. That will be a moment that takes their breath away. Isn't that what life is about?

Please say a special prayer for my sister Kathy's friend Brandy's sister Sheri. She is very sick and needs our prayers. I believe in prayers because without your prayers I could have not made it through all this. So say a special prayer for Sheri.

Today I will stay at home and rest. It is going to be so hot! I'm excited I get to go to the trailer for 4th of July and on July 17th I will go to Tahoe (my favorite place) for Jeff and Christine's wedding. I haven't been to Tahoe in about 5 years so this will be fun. In August Mark and I have planned a trip to Monterey. I got a beautiful room on the beach at the Best Western Beach Resort Hotel. I planned to take little trips here and there. I want to enjoy life and make memories.

Hope you have a wonderful day.

Love,
Debbie

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Resting and Relaxing

Today has been kind of a lazy day. I got up early and then fell back to sleep until 7:30AM. It felt great!

I'm a little shaky today and fatigue but other than that feel good. These symptoms could be medication or effects from the stem cell transplant. Who knows?

Tomorrow is Father's Day and we will have dinner here with Mark and Erin. Maxwell has been doing the cooking since I have been home. So tomorrow he gets the lesson on how to make spaghetti sauce homemade including meatballs. He really likes cooking and does quite well.

I have been just watching movies and to be honest haven't gotten dress yet. I just don't have the energy today. I'm entitled to a lazy day!

Have a wonderful Father's Day!

Love,
Debbie

Friday, June 19, 2009

Special Thanks

There are so many people I need to say a "special thanks" to. I want to say thank you to the Pell Family which includes Karen Pell and all the employees. My husband Mark works for Pell Develpment in San Rafael. They have been so kind and thoughtful to allow Mark the time off to attend doctor's appointments with me. It is so important to have someone there when meeting with doctors to discuss your care. Also, I know our good friend, J.D., who also works for Pell Development reads this blog each morning. I want to say thank you for your love and support you have given me throughout the almost 30 years we have known you. You are a wonderful human being and good things will always be with you.

Also, there will never be enough words to say thank you to Gary and Debbie for all the wonderful things they have done for me. I would be here for days if I had to list each and every one. But I want them to know how much I care and love them and would not have recovered so quickly without their support. I have beautiful memories of my trips to Italy, France and Spain because they are so thoughtful and generous. I just hope someday I can repay them for the kind things they have done for me.

Love,
Debbie

There's No Place Like Home

As Dorothy said in the Wizard of Oz, "there's no place like home". She was right! It felt so good going home. My flowers and roses are all in bloom and they are beautiful. I'll have to take pictures to show everyone.

Friends Jane and Steve and Debbie Cramer came by to say hi. It was so nice to see them. I missed all my friends here at home. I'm very lucky to have friends who care and support me.
Debbie brought me a cute balloon with "Welcome Home" on it and a little red heart pin. That was very nice. Maxwell had a big sign on the garage door saying "Welcome Home Mom". I'm so happy he is home.

Maxwell is my personal chef now that I'm home. He is enjoying cooking for us. He made great hamburgers last night and today we will go shopping together to plan for next week. Father's Day is Sunday and of course Mark wants spaghetti and meatballs. Markie, Erin and Maxwell along with Toddy and Noelle and Tom and Bri are all going to the trailer for the weekend and will be back on Sunday. I can't wait to go there!

It feels so good not to have doctor appointments today. My next appointment will be next week on Friday with Dr. Aeria.

I'm so excited and happy I will be there for brother Joey and Rachel's wedding on Saturday, June 27th. I was so afraid I wouldn't be able to go but good news is I'm going to be there and I don't even have to wear my big ugly mask either. It is going to be a beautiful wedding and I'm so happy to have her as my sister. She makes my brother happy and I know he will always make her happy. He has so much love in his heart to give and he loves her so much. I'm sure alot of tears will be flowing.

Today I plan to rest again and go grocery shopping, if I feel up to it.

Have a wonderful day and make moments to remember.

Love,
Debbie

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Going Home

Going home tomorrow. Can't tell you how I feel to know I finally get to go home. I have told the doctors getting out of the hospital meant a step towards recovery, going to the apartment another step and now going home is the ultimate step. I want to go home and begin my new normal life.

Mom and I went to Stanford today for my appointment at 11:00AM. The nurse took blood draws including clyosporine. That's when I start to get nervous. Waiting for the results and wondering if all the counts will be ok to go home. My life has changed in the last nine months that all I think about is numbers. Numbers like blood pressure, heart rate, light chains, white blood cell, platelets and more. I'm hoping someday I could think about other things, like what trips I'm planning, visiting friends and enjoying life.

So my white cell count went down a little to 7.4 but my platelets went up to 317. Amity my doctor who has been taking care of me was pleased with the results and said it was time to go home. She took out that stupid catheter (I called them tassels) and does that feel good. I have an appointment next Friday with BMT at Stanford for checkup.

Mom and I got back to the apartment at 4:00PM and I was starving. She made me a tuna melt and I fell asleep for an hour. I feel good and don't think I will sleep much tonight cause I'm so excited to get home.

So tomorrow we will get up early and pack up and be on the road by 10:00AM and home by noon. I plan to rest and relax at home. Maxwell is doing all the cooking and I can't wait to be there with him. Mom and I have been watching the food channel alot and I have alot of recipes I want to try out. I'm going to buy the inside grill cast iron plate for the stove, so Max and I can grill meat inside.

Have a wonderful evening. Next time I write it will be from home!

love,
Debbie

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Heart Transplant Appointment Today

Today I had an appointment at Kaiser Heart Transplant. Stanford doctors wanted me to have a checkup by heart transplant doctors before being released to go home.

I saw Dr. Kahle who performed an echo cardiogram. According to Dr. Kahle everything looked great. Heart function was normal. He also checked my heart rate and blood pressure because I have been having some problems with both. My blood pressure and heart rate were good and he felt there was nothing wrong. He thinks the change in medication could have caused the increase in heart rate and blood pressure. I am scheduled for a heart biopsy next month on
July 14th. I have several appointments that day. First will be heart biopsy, support group meeting and doctor appointment with Dr. Schrier at Stanford. It will be a busy day!

I'm feeling good except for the stomach or upper GI system problems. I keeping purping up air and it causes so much nausea. My appetite is not good because of the taste in my mouth and the nausea. Tonight Mom made cream of wheat and it was wonderful.

Well tomorrow hopefully will be my last day at ITA before being released to go home. I will let everyone know when I return from Stanford. Keep your fingers crossed and say a little prayer that I can go home on Thursday.

Speaking of prayers. Please say a prayer for Gary and Debbie, his Mom Kathleen and the family. Gary's dad Harold pass away peacefully today. We have another angel in heaven and how lucky are we. God bless him.

Enjoy each and every moment no matter what they bring!

Love,
Debbie

Monday, June 15, 2009

Appointment at ITA Today

Just got back to the apartment from the ITA. My lab work all looks good. White blood cell count dropped from 27 to 9. I was a little nervous thinking that if it drops again like that then that could be a problem. Doctor was not concerned and she said if it does they would give me Neuopgen shot to bring the count back up. She did say she wanted to see me again on Wednesday and if all goes well with the lab work, we can go home on Thursday. She also said she would take the catherter out on Wednesday too. I have an appointment at heart transplant tomorrow at 1:45PM and the doctors from bone marrow did not want to release me until after being checked by heart transplant.

I will for the next few months have appointments with BMT every week, heart biopsy next month and I have an appointment with Dr. Schrier on July 14th. I'm excited to see the results of my light chain count and to see if the stem cell transplant worked.

Mom and I are going to be lazy today and just rest. I'm not feeling very strong today and want to rest. I have been sleeping better since the doctor said I could start taking my sleeping pills at night.

Have a wonderful day.

Love,
Debbie

Friday, June 12, 2009

Today's Visit to ITA

Just got home from ITA. Another long visit but with great news. My white blood cell count is now at 29, Hematocrit is 35.5 and platelet count is up to 227. All is good with the lab work. No infusions today. I am still waiting for the doctor to call regarding my cylorsporine count. The doctors feel the evaluated heart rate is because of the medication called gengraf. I might have to adjust the dosage.

Doctor did say I would not have to be seen over the weekend and that I will come back on Monday. Depending on the results of blood tests etc. on Monday I might be able to go home on Wednesday. They wanted me to be seen at heart transplant before they decide to release me, so I have an appointment on Tuesday at 1:45PM. All goes well I will be home on Wednesday. I can't wait.

Nana is making the vegetable frittata today and we are going to relax and watch a movie this afternoon. This weekend will be quiet and I want to rest as much as possible. Mark and my friends Jeff and Christine are coming down on Sunday to visit.

On a sad note. Many of you know my dear friends Gary and Debbie. Gary's dad Harold suffered a heart attack this morning and is in a coma. Please say prayers for Harold that God won't let him suffer and give strength to Gary and his Mom Kathleen. Our love and prayers are with them.

Make today a moment to remember.

Love,
Debbie

P.S. Doctor just called count is ok at 250 and no change to medication.

First Day at ITA

Yesterday was my first day at ITA (Infusion Treatment Area) at Stanford. Our appointment was at 10:30AM and we didn't get home until 4:00PM. It was another long day!

My blood work looks really good. White cell count is up to 33 and platelets went up to 216. The doctor is so amazed at how my body has responded. Most stem cell patients do not start producing platelets until weeks after transplant. My platlets have gone from 27 to 216 in less than a week.

The only problems I am having is that my cylorsporine count is high at 283. This is causing my heart rate to go up over 110. Yesterday at the ITA, my heart rate was 114 and last night it was up to 116. This morning my blood pressure finally came down to 128/88 but my heart rate was 116. Mom and I think its the medication I'm taking. Believe me I am taking more medication now then I did after the heart transplant. Looking at the bathroom counter it looks like a drug store counter. There are at least over 50 different bottles of pills. So this morning when I go to ITA I will discuss with the doctors the increase in heart rate. They will draw blood again this morning to check my cylorsporine count and decide what to do then.

Other than being extremely tired I am feeling good. I haven't slept great because I keep waking up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom or just stare at the ceiling. I'm going to ask today if I can take my sleeping pills again. Today should be an easy day. Our appointment is at 9:30AM and hopefully I won't need any infusions so we can get out of there quick.

The doctors did say they will see me next week on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. This was disappointing because I thought I could go home by at least Wednesday. I'm hoping things will change next week and they let me go home sooner. I have to take it one day at a time.

Have wonderful day.

Love,
Debbie

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Tippi came to Visit


Tippi and her husband Scott came to visit me today in the hospital. As you all know Tippi received a heart transplant one month before me. I met Tippi on August 12, 2008, the day she was admitted to wait for her heart transplant. I will never forget that day. Her family was there (husband, son Rob and daughter Bri) to admit her into the hospital. She tugged at my heart that day and has so since then. I love her like a sister and she knows we have a special friendship. It was funny taking this picture today and we both laughed and said "who is the patient"!

Discharged from Hospital

Today I was discharged from the hospital. It was an exhausting day. By the time I was released and got medication from Kaiser and to the apartment it was 4:00PM. Needless to say Mom and I were tired.

We spent the next 3 hours in total silence (no TV) relaxing. Just got done eating dinner and will most likely go to bed early tonight. At least I will be able to sleep and not be woken up every two hours for vitals or to go to the bathroom. I'm feeling good but really tired.

Tomorrow we have an appointment at the ITA at Stanford 10:30AM. Everyone says this is a long day and that they make you wait for hours. So we will be patient.

I want to thank everyone for their prayers and support. They gave me the strength to get through this.

Have a wonderful evening and I will write more tomorrow.

Love,
Debbie

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

GOOD NEWS

DOCTORS ARE RELEASING ME TO GO TO THE APARTMENT TOMORROW, JUNE 10TH!

Can't tell you how happy I am. I'm hoping I will stay at the apartment for only a week and be able to go home.

Doctors are so pleased with my recovery. My white cell count went up to 5.1 and most importantly my body is making its own platelets. This does not occur for weeks after most stem cell transplants. I have made it over the hill and I'm on my way to recovery.

So tomorrow Mark and Mom will be here early at 9:00AM to meet with the doctors to review my care instructions. I will have to go to the ITA (Infusion Treatment Area) each day for daily blood draws and infusions, if necessary. Once I am released from the ITA I will be able to go home. From then on I will be seen by the Bone Marrow Clinic once a week until being sent back to Kaiser for future treatment.

I cried when the doctors told me I could go home. They even had tears in their eyes. It is a moment I will never forget! A moment that took my breath away.

Hope to see everyone soon.

Love,
Debbie

Monday, June 8, 2009

Day +9 and Day +10

Sunday was Day +9 and today is +10. Last night my white cell count went up to 1.1. No blood transfusions. Maybe tomorrow I will be able to get out of my room and walk around again. I'm hoping to be released on Friday, June 12th to the apartment. My stay at the apartment will be about a week or two but based on Dr. Kevin's recovery he only stayed 6 days. We will have to wait and see.

Doctors were in this morning and they are very pleased with my progress through this procedure. I was really lucky not to have experienced alot of the bad things others have. I should be feeling better as the days go by. I still have the GI problems and that terrible taste in my mouth. I ate alittle more today for breakfast.

Today I will just relax and watch a movie. The doctors will do blood draws again tonight and I will let everyone know the results.

Have a wonderful day!
Love,
Debbie

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Day +8

Today is Saturday and best known here at Stanford in Unit E1 as Day +8. I had a nice visit this afternoon with Mark and Matthew. It's so hard for everyone when they come to visit me because they have to wear the mask, gloves and scrubs. Sitting here for hours with the mask on gets so hot and its hard to breath. I know!

Right now I'm watching the Stanley Cup finals. My dinner was ok. Chicken nuggets and tator tots. I ate a few of those and a little bit of the vanilla ice cream. I just don't want to eat. The nausea is still there and the taste in my mouth is awful. So food doesn't taste good.

My white cell count went up to 0.4 last night from 0.2. That's positive but the doctors don't want to say you have engrafted until the count goes up higher and it is steady. The count can go up and down until engraftment. I know within the next few days my cells will engraft and I will see my white blood cell count go up. All these side effects I'm experiencing right now will magically go away they say. I can't wait!

I miss my family, friends and home. I told the nurse tonight I won't take home for granted. I look forward to walking around my garden and seeing my beautiful roses blooming. Mark and Maxwell have worked so hard keeping up on them. I used to do it but with the stem cell transplant I'm not allowed to touch dirt for 6 months. I can't wait to go for drives again to the coast and of course to my trailer at the lake. That is what keeps me going sitting here alone.

Tomorrow Mom, Joey and Rachel will come to visit. I haven't seen Rachel since I came into the hospital two weeks ago. I missed her bridal shower last weekend. I hope and pray that I will not miss the wedding on June 27th. I know I won't be able to stay long but as long as I can see them get married, that will be a moment that takes my breath away! My brother is so lucky to have found a loving and caring person. And of course Rachel is very lucky to have found my brother. He is one in a million!

Auntie Mary Joan posted a comment on my blog and I want her to know I appreciate her love and support. I read all the comments everyone posts and know it is important for me to continue writing so everyone knows how I'm doing.

I'm actually doing quite well. No mouth sores only nausea and upper GI pain. I think the sores are in my upper GI and that's why when food starts to go down it hurts. Nurses are very kind and offer medication and pain killers all day long so I won't have to suffer. I get sick to my stomach in the early morning before lunch. I don't know why but I have to ask for nausea medicine. Doctors say I can go home as soon as white blood cell count is higher, no need for nausea or pain medication and no fever. So the next few days will be the test whether I get to leave next week.

Have a wonderful evening and remember make moments that take your breath away.

Love,
Debbie

Friday, June 5, 2009

Day +7

Well last night wasn't much fun! My main problems have been the upper GI system and stomach. I had a lot of pain last night and had to take pain medication. Food is irritating my system and I can only eat jello and broth. No mouth sores or fever. The doctors think the sores are basically in my digestive system.

I got the first shot of Neupogen last night and will continue to receive the shots until my white cell count goes up. My white blood cell count was 0.2 again last night and i'm hoping tonight it starts to go up. One more week and I will be able to leave the hospital and go to the apartment. I'm counting the days.

Please pray for our family. I don't know if you remember last year at the same time I was going through the heart transplant, Mark's Mom became sick. Today we found out she has Lympnoma. She is so weak that the doctors feel she will not be able to handle chemo at this time. What is so sad is that she is all alone in Potter Valley. I wish she lived closer to us. Mark is going there tonight to spend the night with her. Please say a prayer for her.

Hope you have a wonderful evening.

Love,
Debbie

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Day +5 and Day +6

Today is Thursday Day +6. My white blood cell count has dropped to 0.2. In less than a half hour I start the Neupogen shot that will help stimulate my stem cells to start multiplying.

Yesterday and today has been time to rest and relax. I have been watching movies and playing on my lap top. Mark and Mom came to visit today and stayed for the afternoon. I'm confined to my room so there was no where to go but here. It was a nice visit. I miss everyone so much and its hard when they have to leave.

Matthew fly up from Los Angeles to come visit today also. It was so good to see him. It was a short visit but he promised to come back tomorrow. I miss Matt so much.

Maxwell flew to Omaha Nebraska tonight for try outs tomorrow. He will stay with a host family and I hope he does well during the try outs. He has been working so hard for this. He will be gone until Monday.

I will have plenty of visitors the next few days. Matthew will be here tomorrow, Mark will come on Saturday and Mom, Joey and Rachel will be here on Sunday. I'm so happy they come to visit because it gets so boring and lonely here.

Doctors are so happy with the way my progress is going. Nurse Beth just gave me the shot Neupogen and this will help stimulate my bone marrow to produce more stem cells and increase my white blood cell count. I asked the doctor today if I would get to leave before June 12th and she kind of sounded like June 12th was too long and maybe I would get to leave sooner. I don't want to get my hopes up but I'm praying I get to leave soon. I will then have to stay at the apartment for a week or two. I can't wait to be able to sleep all night and not be waken up every two hours by the nurses or having to go to the bathroom. Also, I'll be happy when Mom can fix me some good food. As I said before, the heart transplant was so easy, this is not!!!

I watched the movie "Calendar Girls" today. Cute movie! Tonight I want to watch the Brad Pitt movie "Curious Benjamin" but think I might wait till tomorrow. I feel tired tonight.

I tried to eat dinner and started with a bake potato. Immediately my stomach started bothering me and that was it. I saved my egg sandwich for later in case I get hungry. I'm hungry but than food doesn't settle well. Nurse Beth said this is all about the chemo I received last week. It affects the digestive and stomach tracts. I have been pretty lucky not to have experienced the mouth sores or fever. I'm knocking on wood that it won't happen but as I have done for the past 9 days I sit and wait.

I hope you are having a wonderful evening and enjoying every moment.

Love,
Debbie

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Tuesday - Day +4

Yesterday was Day +4 from transplant. My white cell count last night fell to 0.4 and continues to drop. My hemocrait was fine so no blood transfusions. I keep waiting for the signs to come like the mouth sores or fever. My stomach and digestive system at this point seems to be the only thing that is causing me discomfort and pain. I have nausea all day long and ask for the medicine to stop it. It feels so much like morning sickness all day long. My doctors are so pleased with my progress so far. They say I am so healthy and everything looks good. I can't wait to start the neupogen shots tomorrow so my white blood cell count will start to go up and I can start my recovery.

I miss home so very much and all my family and friends. I'm lonely but every other day I have someone here to visit which helps. Mom and Mark will come tomorrow. Mark is taking Maxwell to the airport to fly to Omaha Nebraska for a hockey team tryout for the USHL. I hope he does well! They will then come and visit me for the afternoon. On Friday, Matthew flys in from Los Angeles and Mark will pick him up at the airport and come visit me. I think they will stay at Cousin Maria's (I have to call her) and then come visit me again on Saturday. I miss Mattie so much and look forward to seeing him on Friday.

All I keep thinking about is how this has changed my life. I want so much to enjoy my new normal life away from doctors and hospitals. I don't want to think about being sick. My beautiful shared heart is perfect and the doctors say it has done quite well through chemo. I knew it would because my angel Jazmin is with me helping me get through this. Every time someone asks me about Jazmin and show them her picture on my desktop. They always say "what an angel"!

Today I'm confined to my room because of my white blood cell count and they want to protect me from infection. So I will watch movies, watch tv (nothing on tv here) and play games on my lap top.

I have alot of time thinking about the things I want to do when I get home. After being released from the hospital Mom and I will have to stay in an apartment for one to two weeks close to Stanford. I have to go to Stanford Cancer Center ITA each morning for blood draws to determine if I need fluids or blood. Once I am released from the ITA then I can actually go home but will be released to the BMT clinic. My appointments with the BMT clinic will be once a week to see the BMT doctors until released back to Dr. Schrier. I still have months of doctor's appointments but most importantly I need to rest, relax and recover from this procedure.

I plan to spend most of my time at my lake trailer in Lake County. Mark has been cleaning and getting it ready for me. I feel so at peace when I'm there that that's where I want to be. I want to take drives, take a nap on the lake, visit with friends and just enjoy the moment!

What I'm going through right now is just a "moment". I can't say it takes my breath away but certainly has made me realize how important "moments in time" are to me. Eight months ago I didn't have many moments left and God gave me a second chance to experience more moments in time. I plan to take advantage of every one!

Make a moment today that takes your breath away!

Love,
Debbie

Monday, June 1, 2009

Monday - Day +3

Today has been quiet. Nurses have you up early to eat breakfast, shower and do morning exercises. My exercise consists of walking around th E1 unit halls. I can't go too far away because I'm on a heart monitor and the alarms in Carliogy go off if I go too far.

I had a little spell of nausea this afternoon before lunch and called the nurse immediately for nausea medicine. Within 5-10 minutes the nausea was gone. The chemo has left me with an awful taste in my mouth. I'm hungry but when the food gets here it smells awful and tastes awful. I try to force as much down as possible. There are some things that taste ok, like the bake potato I had tonight. It was good. I miss my salads and honey mustard chicken. I can't wait to get to the apartment where Nana can start feeding me what I like. You would laugh to see the "crisp bacon". It looks like a piece of lace, make that a limp piece of lace. For now all I can dream about is the big avocado, cheese, bacon and tomato omelet with sour dough french bread toast at Norm's Kitchen. I love breakfast!

Today I watched a cute movie called "Only You". It was a romantic comedy set in Italy. I love watching movies that have sites all over Italy. I saw a lot of places I have visited. Posintano is one place I really want to spend time. It is the small little city in the movie called Under the Tuscan Sun and was featured in this movie today. It looks like a quiet little hillside citta. It would be a perfect place to settle in for a week or two and become one of the villagers. I was surprised at how much I was able to understand the language spoken in the movie. The words are there somewhat I just have to continue studying and putting everything together.

Tomorrow is Tuesday and Mom and Maxwell will be here to visit. I can't wait. It gets so lonely here by myself. I miss my family, friends and home. You don't realize how much until its gone. I keep counting the days until June 12th, which is the earliest they will let me go to the apartment and hopefully I will only be there for a week or two.

Make moments that take your breath away!

Love,
Debbie